Over the past few years, I’ve had to reckon with loss and grief that felt unresolved, and perhaps unresolvable. It’s something we’re all dealing with in different ways. When loved ones die, we know they’re dead. Everything that comes with that remains horrible, even maybe unbearable, but there is no ambiguity over the fact that a loss happened. That’s not the case with ambiguous loss, the reality that every loss does not hold the promise of anything like resolutions. Take people who were forcibly disappeared in war. Their loved ones just don’t know for sure that they’re dead. There have been cases of people thought to be disappeared actually coming back from the dead, as it were. When the Assad regime fell nearly 2 years ago, there were some Lebanese prisoners released that were ostensibly missing since the 80s. Loved ones of those disappeared just don’t know, and many end up expressing a sense of paralysis, as it time was frozen the day they disappeared, and never unfroze. Linear time stops making much sense. Has a year passed since the ‘death’? What if they’re still alive? Can one even live with that, or is one stuck. Ambiguous loss can also be more ‘mundane’, for lack of a better term. I’ve moved a lot these past few years. Ever since I left Lebanon in 2015, I’ve moved places and countries many times. Each move brings with it good and bad, and the bad can be a sense of loss that is both permanent and unsettled. In that, ambiguous loss is as universal as it gets. We just don’t usually have the terminology to understand it better. So I had Shui-yin Sharon Yam on to talk about ambiguous loss. She is Professor of Writing, Rhetoric, and Digital Studies, and a faculty affiliate of Gender and Women's Studies at the University of Kentucky. This was actually her suggestion. Yam is a returning guest of TFTT. She was on in 2022 to talk about “Untellable Stories, Reproductive Justice & Complicating Acts of Advocacy” and before that in 2020 to talk about “Hong Kong, Disappearances and the Emotional Cost of Disinformation.”Sharon's Recommendations:Past Lives (Movie)Wayward Lives by Saidiya HartmanAll Fours by Miranda JulyAdmin: I have a lot of episodes that I’m recording in the coming weeks. If you choose to support this podcast on Patreon.com/thefirethesetimes, you’ll get early access to all of them. You’ll also get exclusive access to the video episodes, our monthly hangout as well as other perks such as the upcoming Discord channel, discounts on upcoming merch, that sort of thing. I’m also working on two separate mini-series that will be released to Patreon supporters all at once, with the public getting them once a month as of 2027. So if this is something you can afford, please consider giving it a shot with a yearly donation. If it doesn’t work out for you after a year’s time, you can stay on the Patreon for free (just message me then) and not lose access to anything. I only ask for an initial year-long commitment, which is cheaper for you than paying monthly anyway. Masterclass on Modern Lebanon: Registration is now open for November 2026.Newsletter: Subscribe to HauntologiesSocial Media: I'm on Bluesky and Instagram.Contact: To collaborate, reach out on ayoub@thefirethesetimes.com / Signal @ Ayoub.02Credit: Elia Ayoub (host, sound editor, episode design), the rosa artist (TFTT theme design, 2026-), Rap and Revenge⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Music), ⁠⁠⁠Wenyi Geng⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (TFTT theme design),⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Hisham Rifai⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (FTP theme design),⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Molly Crabapple⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (FTP team profile pics) and ⁠⁠⁠Antidote Zine⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Transcriptions).